Fear

Growing up, I was the quiet kid. I was the kid the teacher had to drag answers out of, who sat in the back of the class. The kid people were concerned about. Allow me to give you some perspective. I had a conversation with my grandmother once and she outright said, “Chandler, we were worried about you.” My parents noticed up until 4th grade, I did all of the things a kid should. I was goofy, fun, and I made friends like it was my job. I was just another 4th grader. Then it stopped for no apparent reason. It wasn’t until I reflected on that part of my life did I figure it out. I had let fear weave itself into my life and take hold. Where most kids that age think they’re bulletproof, I thought I was the designated bullet catcher. The constant overthinking, self-doubt and questioning was a vicious cycle.

I think all of us live with this fear to some degree daily. “Am I pretty enough?” “Is she going to like me?” “What will they say?” Believe me, I know the feeling. At this point, I own a timeshare in that area of thinking. In a day and age where we as a society thrive off of our presence on social media, it’s easy to get sucked into this mindset. Throw in the stress of college or career preparation, a sprinkle of people cutting you down and you have a blue ribbon recipe for disaster. The recipe of my life.

Have you ever woke up in the morning and the whole world seemed gray? As if it was letting you know, “This day this going to bite, salvage what you can.” Have you ever questioned what the point of going outside is? That if a bus hit you it would be the highlight of your day? Because I know I have.

I’m a sheep farmer from southern Iowa, I’m not trained in Socrates or Plato, but I do know this: What you choose to do with your fears is what defines you as a person, not the fear itself.

We as state officers recently returned from a training out in Washington D.C. While there, one of the things we focused on was our nation's history. The men and women who laid the foundation and fought to preserve our country are patriots, but they all had fear. They could have chosen to stay silent, to let fear rule over them but they didn’t. They fixed bayonets on Bunker Hill, fought to restitch a torn nation, and stood tall in faraway lands for people they’d never met. They threw off the shackles of tyranny so we can enjoy the freedoms we have today. Like the freedom for a quiet Iowan to zip-up a blue corduroy jacket that would change his life forever.

In times of darkness, have you ever seen the sunrise chase off the dark from the mountains of West Virginia? Sped down the highway with windows down and the music too loud? Stood proudly next to a speech, performance or project and knew that you gave it your all? Because I know I have. The Bible says in 2 Timothy, “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.”

It’s ok to be fearful, that’s life. Never be ashamed to reach out to someone and tell them you’re down, people want to help. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Know when you see me singing along, cracking jokes, or being a little “weird” I’m choosing to fight my battle. I’m choosing to be fearless. That my fears have no hold on me.

See, I was never a fan of my recipe for disaster, so I decided to change it. My new blue-ribbon recipe for life is as follows: a dash of self-confidence and a sprinkle of some amazing friends and family with a touch of Faith. But it has a secret ingredient that really brings it all together: a blue corduroy jacket. With a perfect balance of growth and love from its members and advisors, it fills me up like nothing else. If you’re tired of the dark of life, give my recipe a try. I can confidently say when you do, “all you’ll have to fear is fear itself”.

Go Get Em’!

Chandler Jahner

South Central State Vice-President